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November 06 2017

14:50
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paper-mario-wiki:

dam….. they really are oppressed………

14:29
4258 fd9f

muchymozzarella:

 IDK WHY I NEVER MENTIONED IT BEFORE BUT THE SWOOPS ON THE TIPS OF HIS MUSTACHE ARE SO 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

14:23

20 minutes into 'bagpipes and chill' and he gives you this look

November 05 2017

16:22
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glumshoe:

vampireapologist:

THE AVERAGE AFRICAN ELEPHANT WEIGHS 13,000 LBS I’M SCREMAING!!!!!!

This horse isn’t from here, Abby. This horse is from Hell.

Story time. I knew this girl back in 7th grade, when I was still jumping with my pony. The highest I ever took him was 3'3". In 7th grade had been riding and taking lessons for 3-4 years. One day riding came up between us, and she said she went to NY every summer and took lessons with her aunt. Only during the summer. I asked her what she did, and she said she jumped, so was like “oh cool, I jump with my pony. I’ve done 3'3” but not often because I don’t want to hurt him.“ And this 7th grade girl, who only rode in the summers for what I think I recall being a very short time like 2 years maybe, said, "Oh. I jump eight feet.”

Eight feet.

I was like, “…You only ride in the summer.. And you jump 8 feet. The record is 7.”

She would not let it go that she jumps 8 feet every summer in NY.

I wonder if they’re the same person.

Reposted bygafHypothermiaDagarhensmoke11niklashszpaqus

November 04 2017

17:06
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dianadethemyscira:

Diana + fighting for mankind.

bonus (lady justice):

16:10

haiku-robot:

spiduhman:

tony: *sees peter running with something*

tony: let me see what you have

peter, excitedly: a knife!!!

tony: NOOOOOOO!!

happy, quietly in the background: oh my god why does he have a knife

happy quietly in
the background: oh my god why
does he have a knife



^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
16:00
5445 e7b5

marithethrills:

Guess Who watched Thor Ragnarok Today <3

15:57
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wixxard:

young TTC fare

15:57
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blackwatchguide:

Grandma Ana always has her eye on you.

Happy Halloween!! Play it safe and healthy this year!! :D

[Read More!] - [Patreon!]

15:54
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ranma-official:

the-grey-tribe:

lesbianrey:

amazon employee: so how about that new season of stranger thi-

jeff bezos over a walkie-talkie: take the shot

Reason #1 to crack down on dating coworkers

If you become pregnant from your coworker, your firstborn actually contractually belongs to Jeff Bezos

15:51
5449 0d02

sansarya:

Once he was the Golden Boy, but like they always say: all that is gold does not glitter and nothing gold can stay. (x)

01:30
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lanxin:

Judgement Day

Print for AX! A nod to a Klimt piece that I couldn’t get out of my head. 

01:02

thebibliosphere:

vampireapologist:

salisburydrake:

vampireapologist:

admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

I’m gonna call bullshit because how long were you just watching him eat a burrito? 5 mins minimum? That’s sounds funny when written but if you think about it irl it doesn’t make any sense Pictures or it didn’t happen

@salisburydrake I want the apology performed in four-part harmony so get some people together

@vampireapologist I was having, The Worst day today and I swear to gods I think you just cured one of my chronic illnesses with this. I’m fucking LIVING FOR THIS HOLY SHIT

00:40
00:36
00:34

earthdad:

haiku-robot:

earthdad:

earthdad:

no one can make me moan quite like a vanilla coke

to clarify this i do put vanilla coke in my butthole

to clarify this
i do put vanilla coke
in my butthole



^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

i’d die for you haiku robot

00:32

pochowek:

I wish IRL star signs actually meant shit aside from like.. gay tumblr overthinking… i wish they were like the elder scrolls ones. Accidentally locked yourself out? Good thing you’re a virgo and you can open a medium lock every 24 hours

November 03 2017

23:10

kramergate:

iwilleatyourenglish:

kramergate:

when Junkrat kills an enemy Roadhog and it triggers the “who’s on top now?” voice line. there’s no heterosexual explanation for that

this voice line was deemed inappropriate and not included in the Russian translation of the game

there is no heterosexual explanation for that

23:10

lillaology:

egberts:

raylaxy:

egberts:

i went into a gamestop from another reality today

What happened?

so, i only went in to get the shiny silvally code. should’ve taken like a minute or two at most but i was in there for upwards of ten. it was deeply unsettling right off the bat when i walked in because it was quiet. like really quiet. the tv that plays the gaming news and the speaker that plays the ads weren’t running. the cashier says hello and i get in line to wait. it is dead silent. nobody in the store is making any noise except for the cashier, who is typing. she’s helping a little boy sell 12 PS4 games. the boys mom is walking back and forth behind him sipping her gas station brand cup of coffee. literally just walking back and forth from one end of the store to the other. all the while the entire store is silent, the kid is silent, the mom is silent… all 5 of the other full grown adults in this store are silent. and i’m the only one in line behind this kid, these other adults throughout the store are like standing in one space just staring and being quiet. they weren’t browsing, they weren’t talking. nobody was making any noise. i wasn’t making any noise. i was standing there thinking about how eerily silent it was in this gamestop and wondering what the hell was going on - hyper aware of every move i made because i didn’t want to make a noise and break the silence. this carried on for literally 10 minutes before another cashier came in through the front door and loudly exclaimed “i can’t leave you alone for five minutes.” he called me to the counter and asked me what i needed help with. it was like immediately the ambient noises of gamestop all returned at once and i stepped forward to get my code.

my favorite part of this is the implication that not only was the first cashier somehow responsible for the eerie silence to begin with but also that this has certainly happened before

22:56
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